| i skipped school today so that i could stay at the hospital by my grandfather's side. my grandmother, aunt, 2 uncles, 2 cousins, my sister, and my mom were all there.
it seemed like he was doing a lot better. even tho he was comatosed he was still moving and responding to us. if we asked him something he would shake his head yes or no. i held his hand and i asked if he could squeeze it. he shook his head yes and then squeezed. i told him how i got my learners permit and how i might possibly be the worst driver ever, and his facial expression started to turn like it usually does when he is about to laugh. i am sure that i wouldve really seen him smile if he didnt have tubes going down his throat. it was obviously very hard to handle..but me, my sister, and my mom stayed with him for a while. we told him how much we loved him and how he was the greatest grandfather and father that a girl could ever ask for. we saw tears start to stream down his face.
all of this response gave us hope that he was gonna pull through.
a few hours later the doctors stopped letting us in his room. visiting hours end at 8, and it was already 8:30. we were getting antsy so my grandmother and mother demanded to know what was wrong. them and my aunt, my uncle john, and my uncle clem were called into his room by the doctors.
my sister, anna, vinny, and i were waiting in the waiting room for about an hour before the rest of my family came out. when i saw my grandmother i knew it wasnt good. my uncle was holding her up and her and my aunt had been crying.they continued to tell us how grandpa has brain damage. there was no possible way that he is going to wake up. he was responding to us and moving because he is trapped inside his body. that is why he could hear us when we talk to him and everything else. he is going to be trapped there until his body dies. so my mother told us that we are going to wait for him to die naturally. he could be stuck there for up to 6 months. but we are all praying that he will go within the next few days. we dont want him to suffer anymore. we could also tell that he wants to go, because he had used his tongue and pushed the breathing tube out of his throat.
so its been a very emotional night for all of us. i am scared for my mother because shes not letting out her emotions. she tries too hard to be strong and i just want her to break down. when we got home tho, my dad grabbed her and she started yelling and crying hysterically. thats when we all sort of lost it. but yea..my life has been sorta turned upside down these past few weeks. and now i dont even know whats in store for the next few days, weeks, or even months. but i know that god is gracious and my grandpa is not going to suffer much longer.
on another note..i found out today that my uncle (who recently cheated on my aunt..and is also 50) and his new g/f (that is 25)are having a baby. yea. NEW COUSIN FOR ME! WOO WOO! ...NOT REALLY. he cant even feed my 2 cousins as it is. now he is having another kid? i really cant believe my family..nor myself because i am sharing this with the internet world right now. but w/e.
my eyes are being opened to what really matters in this life. i am done with people that dont matter. the only people that get let in are people that are worth my time. people that are honest and trustworthy. people that respect me for who i am. people that know how to be there for someone and that dont screw others over. anyone that doesnt fall under those few categories wont even get the time of day from me.
please everyone that sees this continue to pray for him that he goes in peace. thank you for all of my friends that have been there for me<3 you guys are the best i couldnt ask for anyone better. - Mood:drained
 - Music:only the lonely- the motels
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